how i wish i don’t have to graduate so early. how i wish time would stay in year 3 semester 1. where we would see liang “woowoo” every other day for lessons. where we’ll get A’s for reports/projects. where everything was pretty simple except for sucky IB.

whenever i start reading the notes, my mind will automatically start drifting away, thinking through the options. stop studying and start working, studying with loan and working part-time, study part-time and working part-time..

i don’t want to have to think of what i’m going to do after graduating. it stresses me out just thinking about it. i’m worried and afraid. i think my dad’s right. i want to continue studying just because i don’t want to work. and i really don’t like studying as much as i don’t like working. though, i would definitely choose studying over working because at least i can skip lessons and “rest”. i’m just plain lazy i guess. sometimes i feel like i know what i want. most of the times i don’t. and when i do know, i’m still unsure about it. i afraid of going into the working world, though i’m pretty sure that’s where i’m going after i graduate from poly. we don’t have the means to put me through SIM and i know i won’t be able to get into the local unis. besides, my mum is the only one working. taking out a student loan will be pretty tough for her.

i don’t even want to think this. i can’t concentrate on anything when people are always talking about the future now. if i can’t even go through the present what future is there for me.

and now im nervous abt my TP! =s i don wanna fail this … i’ll have to spend another couple of hundreds if i fail luh. my mum and gramma ask me to pray before gg for the test haha. i think i’ll do that. one last lesson on sunday before my driving test. i hope on the TP day i wun gabra. UGH

butterflies in my stomach