end of a carefree life.

start of a “no life” life.

start taking responsibility for my actions.

soemtimes hate my job.

want to have fun.

want to stay out late.

want to continue studying.

start saving $200/month.

enough?

don’t know.

need to practice driving more.

driving skills suck balls.

traumatised by taxi driver.

holy crap.

hate changing lanes.

need to meet laopos more.

wouldn’t dare sit in my car again.

nearly died twice.

or maybe more?

missing school days.

thinking of the boring days ahead.

especially when the guys go to ns.

hate this time of the month.

3 years passed by in a flash. it was the fastest 3 years of my life man. end of another chapter of my life. start of another soon. will it be studying or working? most probably the working world for me now. haiss

AH i just found out that we wont be wearing the square hat for graduation. only the gown. sobs! that means i won’t ever have the chance to wear and throw it =( damn.

can’t wait for graduation day to come actually. heheh will be the official graduation for me. weeeee~

relative “you graduating already ah?”
me (sighs & gets ready for stupid questioning) “ya”
relative “then what are you going to do? going to work or not?”
me “ya i think going to work first” (gets ready for bombing & sarcasm)
relative “you can work meh? first time working right.”
me “no lor. i work before at popular & my attachment”
relative “popular one time only wad (WHY DIDN’T YOU HEAR ATTACHMENT!)”
me “also got attachment wad” (zzzzzzz)
relative “aiya.. attachment go there relax one right. go play play one”

WTF! I GO THERE SUPER STRESS LA. I HATE EVERYONE WHO DOUBTS ME! (even though i doubt myself, they don’t have to make me feel worse) I HATE EVERYONE WHO THINKS THAT I CAN’T WORK (even though i myself am afraid..) I HATE EVERYONE WHO MAKES ME GO THROUGH THAT QUESTION ALL OVER AGAIN! KNSKNNBCCBFUCKGOANDDIE

how i wish i don’t have to graduate so early. how i wish time would stay in year 3 semester 1. where we would see liang “woowoo” every other day for lessons. where we’ll get A’s for reports/projects. where everything was pretty simple except for sucky IB.

whenever i start reading the notes, my mind will automatically start drifting away, thinking through the options. stop studying and start working, studying with loan and working part-time, study part-time and working part-time..

i don’t want to have to think of what i’m going to do after graduating. it stresses me out just thinking about it. i’m worried and afraid. i think my dad’s right. i want to continue studying just because i don’t want to work. and i really don’t like studying as much as i don’t like working. though, i would definitely choose studying over working because at least i can skip lessons and “rest”. i’m just plain lazy i guess. sometimes i feel like i know what i want. most of the times i don’t. and when i do know, i’m still unsure about it. i afraid of going into the working world, though i’m pretty sure that’s where i’m going after i graduate from poly. we don’t have the means to put me through SIM and i know i won’t be able to get into the local unis. besides, my mum is the only one working. taking out a student loan will be pretty tough for her.

i don’t even want to think this. i can’t concentrate on anything when people are always talking about the future now. if i can’t even go through the present what future is there for me.