the dream takes you by hand __* » future

arctic

JoAnn — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 08:25:15 +0000

maybe i should wear gloves in the office.
wants to leave this place asap!
think i’ll miss my buddies here.
but i still want to leave.
definitely won’t miss the devil.
she doesn’t wear prada.
i want chanel!
chanel 2.55 <3
this is damn random.
i have nothing to do at work that’s why.
though there’s submission tomorrow.
but there’s nothing much yet.
might have to OT =(
last kickboxing lesson tonight!
will have to skip if OT.
signed up for more lessons.
keep fit time.
NOT diet.
me never grow fat only grow fatter.
there’s a difference.
1 more day!
don’t like to msg ahgong.
his replies like very cold sometimes =(
or that it feels very fu yan.
hope he does well for his live firing.
and i really regret writing that letter.
after he said they’ll use it to ~~mindfuck~~ them.
though i don’t know how.
i wonder if they’ll read it =O
sudden loud thunder!
my fingers are freezing =(
it’s dark outside.
gonna rain soon.
payday’s coming!
time to save up some money.
thinking of studying soon.
i hate working what with all the politics.
i hate the hongky.
i am not your personal secretary okay!
knsccb !#%@#
gonna study HR i think.
remember how i used to complain about the attachment company?
actually it wasn’t that bad.
and daddy says he can see that i was happier working there.
i had ollie there with me!!
now i don’t =((
i miss poly life.
i miss my babes.
i wanna sit at the underpass eating tabao-ed beehoon.
skipping lectures to eat pepper lunch at IMM.
slacking at the underpass or CC basement.
getting chased off the CC basement by “ollie’s best friend”
buying onigiris and vitasoy up to class.
being (almost) always late for class.
laughing at shyy burping.
all the funny antics and lovely mr woo woo.
and then i miss those times in poly year 1 when the n1 people would meet up like almost everyday.
how we would hangout at macs most of the times.
laughing and being happy.
i don’t wanna grow up =(
growing up means more stress and responsibilities.
i wanna be that cute kid i once was.
sleeping eating playing all day.
no responsibilities.
no money issues.
i wanna be a taitai!
work when i want to.
slack when i want to.
no worries about money.
of course i want my hubby to love me too.
i don’t think i’ll be happy even if i’m a taitai but hubby doesn’t love me =(
i need lots of TLC.
i think it’s very hard to love me.
sometimes i wonder if zy finds it hard too.
i’m afraid.
of what?
of doing the wrong things.
of saying the wrong things.
of things going wrong.
of insects.
of supernatural.
of losing my loved ones.
of having no money.
of angry people.
of people who’re mad at me.
of babies who cry nonstop.
of overzealous dogs.
i want a dog!
dar wants to keep a dog.
but mummy says mama doesn’t like dogs.
and daddy will surely say no.
‘cos then who’ll look after it.
when he pees or poops.
mama? yeye?
dar says he’ll do it but i know he won’t. HA
it’s 4PM
the hongky’s coming back from his meeting.
please come back late!
noisy bugger.
i thought about it for the past few days.
i realised what’s missing.
but i haven’t said anything yet.
i wonder if he even bothers.
maybe it’s forgotten.
hmm hmm
i feel very lifeless these days.
and i’ve got a very boring life.
it’s like work, home, fb, sleep everyday.
except thursdays where i have kickboxing.
and saturdays and sundays no work!
i feel like i’ve missed out on loads of things.
i need a new wallet.
maybe it’s my wallet that causes my $$ to go so fast.
superstitious much?
i need to cut my hair.
my fringe is irritating me.
too long.
the last time i cut was 2 months ago?
my hair is growing longer!
duhhh~
and yes this post is very long.
i spend 1 hour 30 mins on this i think.
just random thoughts popping up in my mind.
i gonna go daydream now.
byebyebye!

pms

JoAnn — Tue, 12 May 2009 18:04:31 +0000

graduated.

end of a carefree life.

start of a “no life” life.

start taking responsibility for my actions.

soemtimes hate my job.

want to have fun.

want to stay out late.

want to continue studying.

start saving $200/month.

enough?

don’t know.

need to practice driving more.

driving skills suck balls.

traumatised by taxi driver.

holy crap.

hate changing lanes.

need to meet laopos more.

wouldn’t dare sit in my car again.

nearly died twice.

or maybe more?

missing school days.

thinking of the boring days ahead.

especially when the guys go to ns.

hate this time of the month.

dilemma

JoAnn — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 18:12:59 +0000

i don’t know what to do. i’ve been offered a job. yes i know, thats good.

HOWEVER, i have to work for at least 6 months and if i quit within that 6 months, i have to pay them money. so, im considering whether to take up that job or not. why am i considering?

because,

what if i don’t like that company?
what if i don’t like the people there?
what if the people there don’t like me?
lots and lots of what ifs.

i know that being offered a job is good enough, but still..

if they don’t have this 6 months thing, i would take up the job offer, since i can quit anytime i like with no consequences.

if i take up the job, i’ll start on the 30th this month, and 1st month will be temp period. the next 3 months is probation and after that, will be the perm where i’ll get a pay rise hopefully.

i’ve decided to ask them if the 6 months thing can start after the 1st month temp period. if it isn’t possible, i shall just turn it down and go on to look for other jobs. D:

on the other hand, i’m seriously considering going back to my internship company. ya, i just said it. I AM THINKING OF GOING BACK THERE.. i know i’ve said that i wouldn’t be going back there previously.

but at least i know the people there and i know that (most of them) are nice. AND, if i go back there, at least i can be in the HR department, and that’s what i want to do. i think.

besides, my parents and grandparents! keep bugging me about it. not really bugging, but they’re asking me to go back there since its near and boss asked me to go back after i graduate. but, people might just be saying it as courtesy right? i don’t know.

what to do now????????

apprehensiveness

JoAnn — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 19:24:03 +0000

i’m supposed to be studying for WBA and i’m not. i practically haven’t studied anything for it and i’m gonna take the test in 6 hours time >.< i’m just not in the studying mood..

how i wish i don’t have to graduate so early. how i wish time would stay in year 3 semester 1. where we would see liang “woowoo” every other day for lessons. where we’ll get A’s for reports/projects. where everything was pretty simple except for sucky IB.

whenever i start reading the notes, my mind will automatically start drifting away, thinking through the options. stop studying and start working, studying with loan and working part-time, study part-time and working part-time..

i don’t want to have to think of what i’m going to do after graduating. it stresses me out just thinking about it. i’m worried and afraid. i think my dad’s right. i want to continue studying just because i don’t want to work. and i really don’t like studying as much as i don’t like working. though, i would definitely choose studying over working because at least i can skip lessons and “rest”. i’m just plain lazy i guess. sometimes i feel like i know what i want. most of the times i don’t. and when i do know, i’m still unsure about it. i afraid of going into the working world, though i’m pretty sure that’s where i’m going after i graduate from poly. we don’t have the means to put me through SIM and i know i won’t be able to get into the local unis. besides, my mum is the only one working. taking out a student loan will be pretty tough for her.

i don’t even want to think this. i can’t concentrate on anything when people are always talking about the future now. if i can’t even go through the present what future is there for me.