there’re times when i think that if i leave this place it would be better for everyone.. i feel so useless and seems like i’m wasting everyday doing nothing, wasting the earth’s resources.. i’m the type that lives my life day to day, never thinking of the future, perhaps i do but unrealistically.
November, 2010
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leave
November 6, 2010 by JoAnn
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where am i?
November 4, 2010 by JoAnn
i’m totally at a loss of what i’m gonna do in the future.. study or not? what to study? what job to find? i’ve totally no direction to where/what i’m gonna go/do in future.. feels like such a loser. already 22 years old and seems like i’m still a childish girl living my life day by day. friends around me are all starting to/ studying. envy~ ‘cos they know what they wanna study. and most importantly i got no money. and it’s even worse whenever baby asks me about this. and i get unhappy and annoyed/frustrated ‘cos sometimes its like he doesn’t understand my situation. yes, i know he’s concerned.. but for someone whose dad has plans for to study overseas and not much financial difficulties.. well.. i just get so frustrated and sad and lost whenever i think of it.. what am i gonna do if he really goes away for like 3? years.. jsut thinking about it makes me feel like crying.. my best friend comes back and then he has to go. though baby says its not confirmed that he’ll go but i know that eventually that is the road he’ll take ‘cos his dad wants him to.. i know i’m being selfish to think this way and i should be happy for him. i am.. just that most part of me can’t bear for him to leave.. arghhhh! all right.. just need to pour this out.. stop thinking about this and just try to skip this topic as much as possible ‘cos i know that whenever this comes up my mood will change and then we’ll quarrel.. damn it.
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